Mic Check - 1,2 - 1,2

I am back. After a long hiatus from the rocky start of my blog, lots of thinking & stressing, and the new year [plus, the encouragement of one very special friend] - it’s time that I pick this thing back up and start creating.

This is my first post [well, 4th] toward becoming a blogger. It’s funny to write things here about myself because I don’t know who my audience is yet or what my goal is here. Do I have an audience? Do I have a goal? My hope is that these questions will get answered the more I post.  Ok, so…

Back in October, I bought a Groupon for five massages that I haven’t used yet [that in itself is an issue]. I decided to go during my lunch break today and get my first 50 minute massage - 50 minutes really isn’t that long & it’s common practice here to take an hour and a half lunch. Besides, I NEED to start using my Groupon.

While my body was reaping all the benefits of the magical hands of my masseuse [let’s just call her Magic Hands], my mind wasn’t. I couldn’t turn off my brain - Oh, that music is nice. I hope she gets all the knots out of my back. Was that my phone vibrating? Shit, that was probably my boss. Wait, it’s ok, I am on lunch. OH, that felt real good. Why do they have wood floors? They make a lot of noise. My to-do list has 15 things on it, damn. What’s for dinner? Do I have plans? I should really try to blog more. And so on..

I’d like to blame this phenomenon on popular culture, the internet, my smartphone, etc. But the truth is, I cannot disconnect - not even for 50 minutes, which really isn’t that long - and that is my problem.

Magic Hands: “Can you please relax your arm? Thank you.”

Wait, what. I thought I was relaxing?! Isn’t this me, here at the masseuse, relaxing?

So now, I cannot disconnect & I cannot relax.

It’s only 50 minutes, which really isn’t that long. I think I deserve 50 minutes in each day to relax, to center myself, to collect my thoughts and try to stop my brain from nearing explosion. The world will continue to turn for those 50 minutes, even if I don’t immediately respond to my vibrating phone. We all deserve that 50 minutes - because our happiness isn’t defined by what we do at work between 9 and 5, it depends on the satisfaction & nourishment of our minds & souls.

So, it’s been decided - I will use 50 minutes every day to disconnect & relax. I will meditate. I will brainstorm. I will read. I will organize my thoughts. I will dream. I will get massages [because, apparently, a lot of thinking happens at massages]. This is my newest resolution [on top of eating healthy & being active, which is going really well, thankyouverymuch] and I think it is the start of something new & big. There is something inside of me that is screaming, dying to get out. I don’t know what it is yet - but I am going to discover it, 50 minutes at a time, which really isn’t that long.

Just as my mind was beginning to melt into the massage table along with the rest of my body, Magic Hands says, “OK, go ahead and get dressed. I will turn the lights on & wait outside.”

Just 50 minutes - which really isn’t that long.